School Daze
by x Where the Wild Roses Grow x
Summary: Kyora acts as substitute teacher to a group of temperamental brats with "help" from Jura. What horrors will ensue?


**I'm back with another pointless fic. The other incomplete fic is not pointless, so therefore, I don't feel like working on it. Normally I hate future fics, but after watching Sealab 2021 and my current obsession with the Four War Gods, I felt like making a parody of it. Mind you, it's not word for word, just overall plot. And I kept **_**one**_** name from the episode, just because it was amusing to me.**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, is the disclaimer necessary? I don't own Inuyasha or Fatass McBlobbicus. If I did I wouldn't be here now.**

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All of last week was horrible for Kyora, and after the news he got last night from Ryura, this week was going to be just as bad. Ryura had recently gotten sick, and wouldn't be able to teach his third grade class of little bastards. It was times like that he hated being a substitute teacher. He was used to teenagers, not children who didn't know when to stop talking. He considered turning his older brother's request down, but felt that he owed him after he saved him from a spazzed out and frantic Gora when he got stuck in his aquarium castle last week. So, Kyora reluctantly agreed.

These were Kyora's thoughts as he mentally braced himself as he walked in the elementary school. He looked around in disgust. This was another reason he hated this. The elementary school looked like a huge daycare center, with its blinding white floor decorated with red, green, blue, and yellow squares, and a huge triangular skylight window in the lobby. Tired of the cheery scenery, he headed down a hallway to Ryura's classroom, Room 69. Kyora sniggered at the thought of the number 69. He found that the hallways weren't much different than the lobby, besides the fact that it wasn't as bright and there were now bulletins with students' drawing assignments posted on them. When he reached the end of the first hallway, he looked at a sign pointing down to the left labeled, "Rooms 59-69". Kyora snorted and turned sharply only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw who was standing at the far end of the hallway, presumably in front of Room 69.

"_The fuck..."_ Was the only thing Kyora could think.

Standing at the end of the hallway was Jura, staring at the wall. Kyora crinkled his nose and continued walking down the hallway, intending on finding out what Jura was doing in an elementary school of all places. He didn't work here, and he didn't have a kid, not that he knew of anyways.

"Jura, what are you doing here?"

"I'm waiting for you."

"Why?"

"Because, I don't have work today, I'm bored, and Ryura's sick and I don't want him asking me to do things for him."

Kyora rolled his eyes. "Look Jura, I'm working, which is something you're not accustomed to. I can't babysit you and these kids too."

"I'm an adult, and I got a visitor's tag from the office!" Jura snapped, holding the visitor's tag between his clawed middle finger and index. "You won't even know I'm here!"

"What kind of school...never mind, don't you dare answer that, Jura. Is sitting in a class full of a bunch of loud mouthed kids what you consider fun?"

"Shit no! But I was thinking about when I was in the third grade. Those were some good times. Sittin' in the back of the class with grape juice and graham crackers, then I'd eat too much and throw up all over my desk. And then I'd go to the nurse and sleep until Mom came to pick me up!" Kyora just rolled his eyes at his stupid little brother.

"If I say no, are you just going to stand out here all day?"

"Don't have anything else to do...well actually," Jura absently looked off to the side, and Kyora looked at him hopefully. Jura snapped out of his trance and said, "No, I ain't got nothing else to do." Kyora huffed.

"Good morning, class!" Kyora called from the front desk with forced cheerfulness over the kids' chatter, which sounded like a thousand cats mating. "Class!" Kyora's yelling did nothing to stop the horrid screechy voices.

"Shut your fuckin' traps you little snot-nosed mother fuckin' bastards!" Jura roared from next to him. The class went dead silent and stared at Jura.

Jura looked at him, "Kyora?" Kyora just glared at him for his foul mouth.

"Okay...good morning, class. Mr. Matsumoto is very sick, so I'm going to fill in for him this week. You may call me Mr. Matsumoto as well, as he is my older brother. Now let's-"

Kyora was cut off when a giant spitwad flew at him, but fortunately hit his desk. "Who did that?!" That's when he noticed Inuyasha sitting at the back of the class. "What the he-, er, heck are you doing in here?"

"What's it to ya, bird brain?" Inuyasha snapped.

"I wasn't aware that I'd be teaching an oversized puppy," Kyora replied sarcastically.

"Feh! Gettin' my GED!"

"Well, don't you realize this is the third grade?"

"Third and fourth mixed!"

"So, what? You're in the fourth grade? You do realize that you're, like, 18?"

"You do realize you're, like, a stupid parrot!?"

"Ugh...what are you having problems with?" Kyora rubbed his forehead at Inuyasha's lame comeback. He wasn't in the mood for this son of a bitch today.

"That fuckin' alphabet," Inuyasha moaned.

"Stupid!" Shippo screamed from the front desk, causing the rest of the class to laugh.

"Shush!" Kyora snapped, only somewhat being successful.

"They have cereal for that, you can practice in the bowl," Jura offered helpfully. Kyora shushed him too.

"We're going to continue with Mr. Matsumoto's lesson plan!" Kyora heard something rip, and noticed that Jura was chewing on the a piece of paper entitled "Lesson Plan".

"Was that the lesson plan?" Kyora growled.

"It was," Jura said, spitting out the chewed up paper and started rolling it into a huge wad.

"Bring it on, ya mangy cat!" Inuyasha screamed, seeing where this was going...and was promptly hit in the face with a big spit wad of tiger spit. The class laughed again.

"Stop it! Now I'm sure Mr. Matsumoto doesn't put up with this nonsense, does he?" No one responded. "_Does he?!"_

Jura knelt down in front of a fat kid sitting in the front row. "Answer the man, Fatass," he drawled.

"Jura! How dare you!" Kyora snapped, shocked at his audacity.

"No sir," the kid replied in a nasally voice.

"That's right! Now go clean the jam out of your ears!"

"He's right, I have jam in my ears!"

Kyora said, astonished, "Jura, that is not how you speak to a child!"

The fat kid sobbed again. "I'm gonna go eat my ear jam, I'll be back later!" He shot up out of his desk and ran out in the hallway sobbing.

"Now look what you did, you jerk!"

"What'd I do? That's probably the most exercise he's got since the cake walk," Jura replied, causing the kids to laugh again.

"Fatass!" One of the kids shouted.

"Jura, that's terrible! I can't believe you! What's that boy's name?"

"We just call him Fattykins, or Blob!" Inuyasha hollered.

"What's his _real _name?!" A girl raised her hand in the air. "Yes?"

"Fatass McBlobbicus," the girl said helpfully, and Kyora narrowed his eyes.

"That's it, you're getting detention for that, little lady!" Kyora said sternly, inciting a shocked gasp from the girl.

"Uh, Kyora?" Jura was now holding a notebook. "What?!"

Jura opened the book and with one of his long claws, tapped a few times at a name that said, "McBlobbicus, Fatass". Kyora sweat dropped.

"Um, I'm going to go find Mister...McBlobbicus. In the meantime, Jura, make yourself useful and pick up on the lesson plan," Kyora said absently, heading in the direction Fatass ran.

"But he just turned the lesson plan in a spit wad, Matsumoto," Inuyasha started and noticed that Kyora didn't pay him any mind, "Don't let him be in charge, let me be in charge!" He was silenced when a desk hit him smack in the face, knocking him out.

"Right in your face, mutt," Jura snickered evilly.

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**No flaming. It's meant to be pointless and stupid, and I didn't ask you to read it. But I would very much appreciate constructive criticism about my grammar!**


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